About The Author

The author is a mother of 3 children, one of whom has been diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. She started this blog to document that journey.

Get The Latest News

Sign up to receive latest news

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

The World According to "Me"

I'm finding it difficult to parent M when it comes to discipline.

It's like he believes that the world revolves around him, and I don't think it's in a mean-spirited way. It's more like he's completely oblivious to other people's sacrifices.

For example, if he and his brother have to compromise on a series of choices, it doesn't matter to him that the last 2 encounters have gone in his favour. His brother obviously feels that this time around he shouldn't have to compromise again, and I think that's fair. How do I get HIM to see that?

To be perfectly honest, M does his share of compromising. For a long time, he'd just go along with what his big brother wanted. But when it comes to certain things, like taking turns to watch a favourite TV show, there are certain times he expects to win out.

Two of his favourite shows are Mister Maker (kids craft) and Louie (art/drawing). If either of these is on, and he knows it, and you plan to watch something else.... watch out. There will be a tantrum.

I will usually deal with these tantrums just like I would with any other child - I can't hear you until you calm down, and I'll put you somewhere quiet to get to the point where we can chat and reason. More and more, it seems that I can't get to that point.

It's as if I'm speaking to a brick wall, and he's not in the least interested in "reasoning".

I used to be able to get him past the temper, to the point where he's calm and we can reason. It just doesn't seem to be working any more. And I'm pretty sure leaving him to scream or cry it out isn't the answer.

Distracting him to some other activity he likes often works, but I'm running out of ideas on this. There's only so much drawing the kid can do - besides that's what he wanted to watch in the first place - more things to make and draw!

And besides, I want to understand what changed to make him act up so much more all of a sudden.

Is there something he's bottling up that's manifesting itself in increased frustration? Has he reverted to trying to use tantrums to manipulate things to his way?

Depending on the answers, there are very different actions to be taken.

As I write this, I recall that he is also now refusing to brush his teeth and to bathe, which he always said he wasn't a fan of but he'd do anyway as long as you "kept him company". As a matter of fact, once he got comfy he'd spend ages and ages in the bath.

Now... different story. It takes a lot of insistence and tears but he eventually does comply. What's making him act up like this? And why now?


Always a Southern Girl said...

Oh how we have those days. My step-son has Aspergers and his sister complain all the time that he gets his way. That's not true, but they don't understand.

We have issues with brushing teeth and taking a bath too. How old is your son? Mine is 11.

Post a Comment